Peer Review 14 for Jianna LoCriccio

I reviewed the excerpt that Jianna posted for her project, so I'll be talking about what I said in this blog post. A link to her excerpt can be found here.

What did I do?

I made a copy-editing suggestion to Jianna about her project. I discussed how she was using phrases that sounded similar, and suggest that she condense them so that it doesn't sound like she's being repetitive. I utilized the portion of Rules for Writers in section 15 on providing some variety. It  has some good points about varying your sentence structure to keep the work flowing and keeping the audience interested.

How do I hope it helped?

I hope my comments helped Jianna to be able to get an outsiders opinion on her word choice. It'll hopefully help keep her paper interesting, remain lively, and avoid repetitiveness.

What did I admire?

I admired how honest Jianna was being with her audience. It invited a sense of vulnerability that makes the audience feel as though they can connect with her more. I personally think it was a great choice to make on her part, and I am optimistic as to how her project is going to turn out. She also utilized a lot of detail that was impressive. She seems to be off to a great start.