Peer Review 13b

I've looked at some of the project 3's from the other sections, and I chose to review James Fusaro's project 3. Here is a link to his project. In this blog post, I am going to talk about what I said on my review of his project.

What did I do?

I made a copy-editing suggestion on James' project. I felt that his opening paragraph made the audience think he was going to argue one way, when he turns it around and argues the opposite. It made the paper hard to follow in the beginning. I used page 228 from the Student's Guide to First-Year Writing in my review of James' project. It talks about establishing your relationship with the reader and making sure to be clear about what you're going to be saying. I thought that was an important concept that I'm not really seeing in James' paper until a few paragraphs in. It was kinda making me feel lost at first.

How do I hope it helped?

I am hoping that my feedback will help James to be more direct with his purpose and get the point he's trying to make to come across sooner. It would be helpful for the format of his project if he were to more accurately portray what direction he's going to be working in.

What do I admire?

I admired how thorough James was with the presentation of his information. It was impressive, and helped prove his point in a much more dramatic manner. I was impressed with how clear and precise he was. The depth to which he dove with his information made me more prone to agree with the points he was making.