Monday, May 9, 2016

Project 3 Open Post to Peer Reviewers

I've finished my project 3, so now I'm ready to be reviewed. The link to my standard college essay can be found here.

Key Information


I wrote my third project about narcissism and the fact that social media is causing it. I'm not exactly sure what other key information I'm supposed to provide. the genre I used was a standard college essay.

Major Issues/Weaknesses


I feel like honestly the major issue I'm having right now is finding the voice I'm supposed to be using. I don't want to give a personal story, but it sounds like everyone in class is placing personal stories in their papers. I'm just not entirely sure which voice to use.

Major Virtues/Strengths


I feel like the organization of my project is the strongest point of it. I liked the ideas I was having about it, so I very much liked coming up with ways to express those ideas. I love that aspect of writing, so that was a very fun part of this project for me.

Production Report 11b

I've made a little more progress on my third project, so I'm going to copy and paste a portion of that essay into this blog post. I'm also going to compare it to the original outline version of it. It's the first body paragraph in this paper.

Outline Item:



 -definition of narcissism
-person will think of themselves first
-different than self-esteem
-talk about differences
-narcissism is based on fear of failure or weaknesses
-person exhibiting controlling behavior is struggling with fear of failure
-bullies

Adaptation of Outline Item:


Narcissism has been defined as “inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity”(HarperCollins).  A person exhibiting narcissistic traits will think of themselves first in any given situation, and have a grandiose opinion of themselves. This is inherently different than self-esteem, on which our society is deeply predicated. Dr. Lisa Firestone has stated “The distinction between self-esteem and narcissism is of great significance on a personal and societal level. Self-esteem differs from narcissism in that it represents an attitude built on accomplishments we’ve mastered, values we’ve adhered to, and care we’ve shown toward others. Narcissism, conversely, is often based on a fear of failure or weakness, a focus on one’s self, an unhealthy drive to be seen as the best, and a deep-seated insecurity and underlying feeling of inadequacy.” This twist in reality can be hard to conceptualize, but it is seen time and time again. The person often exhibiting a controlling or superior behavior is struggling with the very thing they seem against. The bully in the movie always turns out to have an insecurity that caused him to be the way he is; he’s just trying to hide behind a mask.

How did I use form/conventions?


Since this was the first body paragraph of my paper, I made sure to include a definition of what I was talking about. I wanted to present my information right off the bat with me sounding like I knew what I was talking about. I also wanted to make sure to include transitional portions that connected this paragraph to the intro and to the paragraph that will follow.
Since I am working in the standard college essay genre, I had to make sure to closely follow the genre conventions for this paper. I made sure to present the definition with a reference, which I placed at the end of the paper under the Works Cited section. It made the project slightly more time consuming, but doable.

How did the Production go?


I found this paragraph to be slightly more difficult than the intro because I couldn't be as creative as I wanted to be. It was fine because this portion was meant to be informational, but I didn't really want to sound overly informative though. There comes a point where it's too much. I also took a long time in deciding that the definition should be there.

Project 2 Open Post to Peer Reviewers

I've finished project 2! Hopefully my post will include the sound file here, but here's my podcast!
 

Key Information


I don't really know what kind of key information to give anyone who looks at this, but I'm thinking I'll just tell you that there's a lot of sound effects and music and stuff. I talked about speech pathology, and the different writing genres found in that field.

Major Issues/Weaknesses


I'll be honest, I don't think the actual content I have in my podcast is all that great. I don't really know if I went into as much depth as I needed to go into. It was fun for me to do the project, but I spent more time working on the audio editing than I did writing the actual script.

Major Virtues/Strengths


I honestly think the actual audio aspect of my project is pretty awesome. I think the voice I used was fairly entertaining, and I really liked putting in sound effects and music. That was my favorite part, and I think I did really well. I decided that audio editing is something I didn't know I enjoyed doing.

Production Report 11a

I've been working on the introduction to my third project, so I'll be talking about how it got from outline format to standard college essay format.

Outline Item:


Opening
-introduce a trip to the Louvre in an older time period.
-talk about viewing the art
-introduce a trip to the Louvre in 2016
-talk about the differences between the trips
-selfies with the paintings
-people want to document and brag
-narcissism is being exacerbated by social media

Adaptation of Outline Item:


Picture yourself taking a trip to the Louvre in 1950. You’re slowly strolling through the museum, and enjoying the artwork as much as you’d hoped. You even take a moment to enjoy the Mona Lisa, wondering just what she was really smiling about. Everyone else in the building seems to be under the same trance caused by the surrounding works of art. It’s a privilege just to be there, encompassed by so much mystery, beauty, and culture. Now picture yourself on the same outing, this time in the year 2016. Again, you slowly walk from painting to painting, enjoying the artwork. But this time, when you get to more famous pieces, such as the Mona Lisa, you pause to take a selfie. Everyone else around you is doing the same thing. You spend the same amount of time walking through the museum, but this time, instead of simply basking in the existence of the artwork, your first thought is to get proof of your trip so that you can post it on social media later that day. This is just one situation in which the effects of social media can be seen in today’s generation. Narcissism and narcissistic tendencies, such as going to a museum in order to post a picture of yourself with the artwork rather than to simply enjoy it, have been exacerbated by social media.

 

How did I use Form/Conventions?


Since I'm doing a standard college essay, I made the beginning of my project entertaining hooking. I felt it would better engage the audience right off the bat. It was a good way to make sure I had caught their attention while also introducing my topic.
On the conventions end, I had to make sure my opening paragraph had a hook and had a thesis statement. I wanted to follow the genre conventions as closely as possible. This also included not using the First Person Narrative. I had to change the way I spoke because of some of the conventions.

How did the production go?


The production of this portion was actually the easiest of the project. I had fun making it entertaining. I enjoy making papers serious and thoughtful, but I also enjoyed the opportunity to be creative. It was the most enjoyable portion of this project, without a doubt. I didn't really have any hiccups with it until I had to make sure that it contained a thesis statement, but that was more like a baby hiccup.

Production Report 8b

I've now finished adapting the conclusion of my project form outline form to the real deal. I've recorded it, but as I'm unsure as how to put audio clips on here, I'll just post the text of what I said on the recording. I'll also describe the differences between the outline and the remade form.

Outline Item:


 
  • Touch back on the examples we looked at
  • Discuss the differences between the two and what would go into making them
  • Finishing sentence that leaves the audience both satisfied but slightly wanting more. Like a good movie that you enjoyed and didn’t leave you at a cliffhanger, but you would totally watch it again.
  • Catchy tune plays the podcast out.

 

Adaptation of Outline Item:

 

So now we’ve looked at a genre of writing for an accent reduction specialist, a Speech, Language, and Hearing Sciences researcher, and a speech pathologist. Hopefully you’ve gotten more of a taste for what types of writing genres these careers use most often. I know I’ve definitely learned that there is much more of a logistic world to this field of work than I realized. It’s extremely necessary though. If a clinical write-up isn’t made after any type of work with a patient, no one will know what has already been done with a patient or what’s going on, and they won’t know where to go from there. It’s crucial that the practitioner is extremely thorough. It’s also crucial that the author/authors of a research article are thorough and don’t involve emotion in their presentation of experiment results. They need to keep things clear and concise for anyone using their findings for well….anything. On the other side of that, a speech pathologist writing an exercise for a parent will need to make their appeals mainly emotional. A parent wants to do what’s best for their child because they love them and want them to be happy.
 

How did I use Form/Conventions?

 
I used a catchy tune to play out the conclusion, and I made sure that the information was summed up adequately and efficiently. I thought it was a good summary to what was going on, and it successfully brought the listener to understand the exact points I was trying to make.
The sound effects and music at the end, as well as a playoff, helped me keep the information light and not to blunt for the listener. I decided to make sure the information wasn't ending in the way an essay does because of the conventions of the podcast genre.
 

How did the production go?

 
I found this part to be much easier than the introduction in that there weren't as many sound effects. It was easy to put together, and I had fun while I was doing it. I didn't think much of this project was hard, it was just time consuming. I honestly wasn't expecting it to take as long as it did.

Production Report 8a

I've been working on my podcast, and I'll be posting the opening section in this blogpost. I don't know how to put the audio in here, so I'll be using the text rather than the actual sound. I'll be talking about how I changed it from outline form.

Outline Item


Opening
  • Open with a catchy tune that brings the listener to the edge of their figurative seat and leaves them asking “what is this magical project that has piqued the interest of the sound receptor cells in my ears?”
  • Speak in a voice that is not completely my voice because mine is boring. (no accents though, unfortunately) and start by bringing up the topic. i.e. : People are constantly writing. Simply walking down the street exposes you to countless examples of writing: Company advertisements. Street signs. Newspapers. Candy wrappers. But if you’re in the world of Speech, Language, and Hearing Sciences, what makes those types of writing examples unique? What kinds of things would you be writing?

Adaptation of Outline Item



People are constantly writing. Simply walking down the street exposes you to countless examples of writing: Company advertisements. Street signs. Newspapers. Candy wrappers. There’s a different type of written style and genre for everything. If that weren’t the case, the world would be super boring. Luckily that isn’t the case, and there’s a bunch of different genres and styles of writing for any job a person has. Since I’m currently majoring in Speech, Language, and Hearing sciences, I wanted to know what types of writing genres a person in that line of work would use. The only problem? There’s an extremely long list of jobs and specialties a person with my major can have… In order to not bore anyone to death by talking for hours on end, I’ve narrowed down my research to a select few lines of work in the Speech, Language, and Hearing world.

How did I use form and Conventions?


I decided to utilize form by providing an introduction and making it prelude the rest of the project effectively. It's helpful in creating a hook at the beginning. This is helpful in creating a project that is both entertaining, but informative.
I utilized the conventions by making the beginning of the podcast interesting and entertaining. It has light music and sound effects when talking about the street part, which follows the audio conventions. I think this helps keep my project on par with the genre conventions, which makes it easier to listen to.

How did production go?

I personally thought this part of my project was the hardest to do, just because I involved so many different sound effects and editing. It was hard to keep my time balanced. I wasn't working as much on the actual content as I was the presentation of it. I was having fun though, so I enjoyed doing this portion of the project.


 

Project 2 Production Schedule

I've begun work on project 2, my podcast, so it seems about time to make a production schedule for what I'm going to do. It'll be in this here blog post.

Production Schedule:


To Do
Where
When
With What
Actually Finished
Changes
record Opening
My house
Monday
-Voice recorder
-laptop


record description of the sources
my house
Tuesday
-Voice recorder
-laptop


record analysis of rhetorical strategies
my house
Tuesday
-Voice recorder
-laptop


find background music and edit it in
my house
Wednesday
-Voice recorder
-laptop


add sound from pink panther
my house
Thursday
-Voice recorder
-laptop


add sound effects
my house
Thursday
-laptop


Editing editing editing
my house
Friday
-laptop


Project 3 Production Schedule

Now that I have the content outline for Project 3, I need to make a production schedule for what I'm going to do next week during production. I will be making a chart for that in this blog.

Production Schedule:


To Do
Where
When
With What
Actually Finished
Changes
Opening
home
Tuesday
-laptop
Opening
1st Body Paragraph
home
Tuesday
-laptop
1st body paragraph
2nd Body Paragraph
library
Wednesday
-laptop
noneSome stuff came up, so I didn't do much work this day
3rd Body Paragraph
library
Thursday
-laptop
2nd body paragraph & 3rd Body paragraph
4th body paragraph
home
Friday
-laptop
4th body paragraph
closing
home
Friday
-laptop
closing and works cited
Edit
home
Saturday
-laptop
editing/ rewriting

Project 3 Content Outline

We're putting together an outline of what Project 3 is going to look like. I'm going to be posting mine in this blog.

Opening

-introduce a trip to the Louvre in an older time period.
-talk about viewing the art
-introduce a trip to the Louvre in 2016
-talk about the differences between the trips
-selfies with the paintings
-people want to document and brag
-narcissism is being exacerbated by social media

Body


-definition of narcissism
-person will think of themselves first
-different than self-esteem
-talk about differences
-narcissism is based on fear of failure or weaknesses
-person exhibiting controlling behavior is struggling with fear of failure
-bullies

-we're trained to judge people, and judge ourselves
-we make judgement calls to keep ourselves safe
-easier to form quick judgements with lots of ready information
-we post things on social media so people have more information to support positive opinions of us
-we compare ourselves because of social media
-creates feelings of insecurity and inadequacy
-this is a cause of narcissism

-social media erupting nowadays is creating cultural change
-as cultures change, new generations are socialized with different values
-our generation being raised in society functioning on social media
-generation being shaped by social media
-losing privacy
-gaining insecurity and inadequacy
-raising a generation that is culturally based upon narcissism

-one of original intentions was to connect with people
-can be beneficial
-added pressure of keeping up appearances
-doesn't allow for personal progression
-experiences have to be documented on social media
-societal change is new focus of this generation's world

Closing


-narcissism quickly becoming trademark of today's society
-due to social media because of insecurity
-that's the cause of narcissism
-media creates comparisons
-dangerous to mental and emotional health and stability
-society will become narcissistic

Rhetorical Analysis of Project 3

Now that we've started Project Tres (I honestly don't know why I use Spanish numbers randomly; I don't even speak Spanish) I've been doing research about what I want to make my public argument on, and I've decided to do it on how social media is causing an increase in narcissism in younger generations. And now, reader dear, I'll be doing a rhetorical analysis of this project. I'm also eating right now, so if there's any random section of letters that don't make sense, it's because I swiped crumbs off my keyboard an I'm too lazy to backspace.

Author

  1. I will be connecting Project 3 to mostly some personal interests I have, and relationships with people that I've developed this year. My roommates and I are obsessed with personality tests, and analyzing why people do what they do. It's become a hobby in our house (which probably can become unhealthy, but if it's reached that point yet, we haven't noticed...) and I wanted to do a project on something that interests me outside of my major. I love my major, but there's not really anything noteworthy or conflicting that's catching my attention right now. I'm going to pull personality inventory tests into my project to talk about how social media is making the younger generation more narcissistic.
     2.  I have some of biases that I'm aware of going into this project. I think my family is odd in the sense that we were made to believe that social media was a privilege, not a right. We weren't even allowed to have electronics on Sundays. I also hate social media. I'm an introvert, so I don't like people knowing about my life. So I'm probably biased against social media. My family has also always been very middle class. I've never had nice phones, and I didn't get a laptop until this last August. The only way I can afford to be going to U of A is because of a scholarship because I live out of state. I have also been more privy to narcissistic people of late, so I feel like that will bias me more toward the viewpoint that social media is creating a generation of narcissistic people.

Audience

1.   I haven't quite decided who I want my audience to be. I think I'm going to aim it to my generation I think. I might change that later, but we'll go with that for now. People that are on social media a lot, and grew up with it. Well, kinda. I remember when snapchat, Instagram, and pinterest came out. So we were the first generation with it as adolescents.

2.   I honestly don't know which side my audience will take. I think most likely they will take the opposite position that I'm taking because they've been raised with social media and the whole "entitlement" thing that's extremely prevalent right now. I'm obviously going to be nice about it, because I have people I'm very close to that would argue with me hardcore, and I don't want to offend them, so I'm going to probably be more subtle.

3.   I think people could react either very positively or very negatively to my argument. I've met people that would agree with me; those people who are smart and have developed enough of a place in society to accurately form an opinion. But I think the majority of people my age will disagree and be angry or say stuff like "that's rubbish". They like social media. And no one likes to be told that they're narcissistic.

4.   I think it'll be easy to relate to my audience since I am writing to my age group. I'm also gonna talk about how I have had friends with extremely narcissistic personalities, and I think everyone has that one friend that sounds like this.

5.   I would categorize my classmates as the people I'm trying to get to agree with me on my point. I would have to tell them how negatively social media is affecting us personally, and how it's getting in the way of our lives by making us narcissistic.

Purpose/Message


1.    I would like for the effect of my project on the reader to be just the recognition that social media is breeding a whole new generation of narcissists. I don't necessarily want to rid the world of social media. I just wish it were less prevalent.

2.    Once I've researched everything, I still need to make sure I'm addressing the good that social media is doing. I also need to present an example that compels the audience to connect with my project.

What Genre?


1.    I will be making my project 3 the standard college essay.
2.    This genre generally demands respect. I feel like the person reading a standard college essay aren't really looking for a nail-biter, but they're not looking for something to put them to sleep. It would need to be someone who is being respectful of the logical process the essay has been through.
3.    I have been writing essays since I was able to write. I love writing papers. It made me want to be a writer when I was younger. I don't anymore, but I did for a long time. I like using large words.
4.    I am generally extremely comfortable with this genre. As I previously said, I love it. I don't, however, enjoy the aspect in this class that surrounds the author's voice. I'm not entirely sure which voice or perspective to use, so I'm scared to start this project.
5.    In my opinion, the most effective genre conventions for this are the fact that informational is presented factually and chronologically. It doesn't have distracting pictures or sounds like anything else. You just focus on what you're reading. It's nice.

When?


1.    I don't think there are many historical events that would affect people viewing this topic, other than the invention of the phone and the internet.
2.    hyperlinks to four sources talking about narcissism and social media:
3.   People are going to say that social media isn't the cause of narcissism, it just has a correlation. They could also say that social media does more good than harm. Another thing they could mention is the fact that people have just been recognizing higher numbers of narcissism because we are more prepared to notice it than in the past.






Friday, May 6, 2016

Peer Review 15

I reviewed Avalon Lubera's final project, so I'll be discussing that in this blog post. The link to Avalon's project is here.

My suggestions:


I like the content that she has for her project. It's all very thorough and descriptive in following what we were supposed to talk about. The only thing I have to say is a copy-editing suggestion. I thought there were times when it sounded like she was reading an essay with jargon probably more fit for a standard college essay than a video, just in that it was complex and not as entertaining as it could have been. On 248 of A Student's Guide, it talks about the intention of your project, and using the proper wording for what you're trying to accomplish. I think it's important to keep the phrasing in videos consistent with the genre type so as to keep the audience's interest glued to what you want it to be glued to.

How do I hope it helped?


Well, she has an awesome basis for content, and did well with the editing of the video. I hope my comments just help to give it that added boost to make her project more entertaining.

What did I learn/admire?


I really admired the depth to which Avalon went with her project. She was very thorough, and I felt like she hit every key portion of the project with precision. It was obviously well thought through and I was impressed. I learned that my project is definitely lacking in that arena. I think I focused too much on making it entertaining, and not enough on making sure it met the project requirements.

Editorial Report 15b

LAST EDITORIAL REPORT EVER!!! ...If you can't tell, I'm stoked. Just a little...;) But I'm gonna be posting probably the conclusion section of my project. It'll be the text of the audio from my video.

Selection from Rough Cut:


I just feel like I learned a lot this semester, and I got better at recognizing when I need to be better. Did I make mistakes? Absolutely. Am I hoping to grow from them? Without a doubt. I mean, if we don’t make mistakes, how are we supposed to grow? Well, if we don’t LEARN from our mistakes, rather. Because otherwise we’ll just keep making mistakes.
So I have hope. Lots of it. I have hope that I’m better than I was before, and I intend to keep living like that. Growing and becoming a better person every day.

Re-edited Selection:



I used to think I was a good writer. I don’t really know anymore. I’ve let myself fall off the time management wagon. Just not a skill I worked on possessing this semester. And I’ll be honest, it kinda screwed me over
Wow, that could’ve sounded brutal.
I promise I’m not making an entire video about how much I suck.
I just feel like I learned a lot this semester, and I got better at recognizing when I need to be better. Did I make mistakes? Absolutely. Am I hoping to grow from them? Without a doubt. I mean, if we don’t make mistakes, how are we supposed to grow? Well, if we don’t LEARN from our mistakes, rather. Because otherwise we’ll just keep making mistakes.
So I have hope. Lots of it. I have hope that I’m better than I was before, and I intend to keep living like that. Growing and becoming a better person every day.
 

How did the Content Change?

 
I added a beginning section that talks about being a writer. I felt like it pulled more of the actual purpose of the project into it. It probably added to how well I was following both the genre conventions, and the project guidelines.
 

How did the Form Change?

 
After adding the beginning portion of the conclusion, it changed the form in the sense that it brought more of the  project guidelines into it. I needed more actual content that related to writing, rather than just procrastinating, and it did that. It made the body paragraphs flow better with the conclusion as well. In the actual video, I even changed the music right at this point.

Editorial Report 15a

Editing editing editing.....I'll be talking about the changes I've made to my final project recently, since apparently that's what these blog posts are for. I'll be posting the original versions, and the changes I've made. I still have yet to figure out how I can take snippets of my video, so I'll just be posting the text from it.

Selection From Rough Cut:


I manage time in the worst way possible: I don’t. For example, when I have something important to do, I am really good at coming up with a million other things that I need to do instead. I spend all my time doing random tasks that have nothing to do with what I need to get done. This has become a problem this semester. I started pushing my blog work and projects to the end of the list of things I should be doing.
This makes the quality of my projects go WAY down, because I end up rushing to do them last minute. all of a sudden I’m not interested in the project, so it’s just another thing that’s taking my time. I don’t end up thinking things through fully as I’m frantically pulling things together. At that point I’m just a raging ball of stress and lack of sleep.

Re-edited Selection:



I manage time in the worst way possible: I don’t. I can waste endless amounts of it. For example, when I have something important to do, I am really good at coming up with a million other things that I could be doing instead. I spend all my time doing random tasks that have nothing to do with what I need to get done. This has become an extreme issue this semester. I started pushing my blog work and projects to the end of the list of things I should be doing.
As can be expected, this makes the quality of my projects go WAY down, because I end up rushing to do them last minute. all of a sudden I’m not interested and invested in the project, so it’s just another thing that’s taking my time. I don’t end up thinking things through fully as I’m frantically pulling things together. At that point I’m just a raging ball of stress and lack of sleep.

How did the content change?


I added a sentence at the beginning that said, "I can waste endless amounts of it", because I felt like it blended the two ideas better. I changed the word "problem" to "extreme issue" because the strength of it felt better. I also changed "need to be doing" to "could be doing" because it gives my actions more ambiguity. I added "As can be expected" to the last paragraph, because it makes that portion less abrupt.

How did the Form Change?


I didn't change the form much, except for the pictures. I had to change pictures to fit the changing audio which became problematic. I had to spend a ton of time editing the actual video though. It was horrible and extremely time-consuming. I think the change in my setup of the project (form) was helpful because the information is more clearly accessible now.

 


Thursday, May 5, 2016

Open Post to Peer Reviewers

So I've finished the rough copy of my Final Project. *fireworks explode into the night* I've never posted a project directly to Blogger, so hopefully this works.

Key Information


So I did an animation/whiteboard kinda deal for my video essay, and I think it was a good avenue to go, but I'm not sure yet. I don't really have a lot of key information other than that. I did my project on my time management skills (or lack thereof).

Major Issues/Weaknesses


I'm not entirely sure what I think the weaknesses are at this point, except that I didn't really talk a lot about the class itself. Could you let me know if that seems like a huge problem?

Major Virtues/Strengths


I honestly think the form I used for the project was clever. I spent a TON of time editing it all together to make it entertaining, and I think I did a good job with that. I'd like to know if the direction I went with it was a good one for this project.